New HR Policy!!!

EFFECTIVE AUGUST 1, 2008
NEW OFFICE POLICY
Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to
your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a
Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your
money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need
to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every
effort should be made to have non-employees attend the
funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be
scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and
subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders'
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need
to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's
all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, c onsternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
Pass this on to all who are still employed!

Falling Sick

I really made a mess out of myself. Pun intended to take MC tomorrow (integrity lost), however, today really fall sick. Got a meeting at 3 later with AMEX. Shit, I am going to pass that virus to everyone in the room later, so it's 'Public Holiday' tomorrow for all of you guys.

Tonite got 3 million toto, intended to get a few pieces for 'us'.

Who knows? I might turn out to be a millionaire tomorrow.

Then all my $$ problems will vanish....

SHit...................................

BEING A MOTHER

After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to
Take another woman out to dinner and a movie.
She said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman
Loves you and would love to spend some time with you.'
* * *
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit
Was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years,
But the demands of my work and my two boys had
Made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
* * *
That night I called to invite her to go out for
Dinner and a movie.
* * *
'What's wrong, aren't you well,' she asked?
* * *
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that
A late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
* * *
'I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,
' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'
She thought about it for a moment, and then Said, 'I would like that very
much.'
* * *
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick
Her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at
Her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be
Nervous about our date. She waited in the door. She had
Curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had
Worn to celebrate her last birthday on November 19th.
* * *
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an
Angel's'. 'I told my friends that I was going to
Go out with my son, and they were impressed,' she
Said, as she got into that new white van. 'They can't
Wait to hear about our date'.
* * *
We went to a restaurant that, although not
Elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took
My arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat
Down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only
Read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted
My eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring
At me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I
Who used to have to read the menu when you were
Small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and
Let me return the favor,' I responded.
* * *
During the dinner, we had an agreeable
Conversation- -nothing extraordinary but catching up on
Recent events of each other's life. We talked so much
That we missed the movie.
* * *
As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll
Go out with you again, but only if you let me
Invite you.' I agreed.
* * *
'How was your dinner date ?' asked my wife when
I got home. 'Very nice. Much more so than I could have
Imagined,' I answered.
* * *
A few days later, my mother died of a massive
Heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't
Have a chance to do anything for her.

* * *
Some time later, I received an envelope with a
Copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place
Mother and I had dined. An attached note said:
'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I
Could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two
Plates - one for you and the other for your wife.
You will never know what that night meant for
Me. I love you, son.'
* * *
At that moment, I understood the importance
Of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our
Loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life
Is more important than your family. Give them the
Time they Des erve, because these things cannot be put
Off till 'some other time.'

* * *
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get
Back to normal after you've had a baby.... Somebody
Doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.
* * *
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by
Instinct . Somebody never took a three-year-old
Shopping.
* * *
Somebody said being a mother is boring ....somebody never rode in a car
driven by a
Teenager with a driver's permit.

* * *
Somebody said if you're a 'good' mother,
Your child will 'turn out good'....
Somebody thinks a child comes with
Directions and a guarantee.
* * *
Somebody said you don't need an education to be
A mother.... Somebody never helped a fourth grader
With his math.
* * *
Somebody said you can 't love the s econd child as
Much as you love the first .... somebody doesn't
have two children.
* * *
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother
is labor and delivery....
somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus
for the first day of kindergarten .
or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'
* * *
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after
her child gets married....somebody doesn't know that
marriage adds a new son or daughter-in- law to a
mother's heartstrings.
* * I love this xxxxxx*
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her
last child leaves home....somebody never had
grandchildren.
* * *
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so
you don't need to tell her.... somebody isn't a
mother.
This isn't just about being a mother; it's about
appreciating the people in your life while you have them....no matter who that person is.

How we used to be proud to be a Malaysian - Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah

'Tunku Yes, Sukarno No'

KUALA LUMPUR, Sept 16 - Some 45 years ago, the formation of Malaysia took some time and Tunku Abdul Rahman stayed the deadline past Merdeka Day 1963 to allow United Nations to finish its survey of responses in Borneo.Singapore had already declared Independence from Britain on Aug 31, 1963 and had placed itself in trusteeship ahead of the formation of Malaysia. TIME magazine, in a dispatch dated Sept 6, 1963, reported this:In steamy, palm-shaded Kuching, capital of Sarawak, the day's biggest excitement is the firing of the 8pm cannon on the lawn of government house. "What a dull place," said a United Nations official. "I don't know how we're going to survive three weeks here." At the insistence of Indonesia's President Sukarno, an eight-member UN team is present to "ascertain" whether Sarawak and North Borneo really want to join the Federation of Malaysia, which Sukarno bitterly opposes. As the UN ascertainers began to sample opinions around Sarawak, they were nearly stoned, not bored, to death.

In the Chinese-dominated town of Sibu, the Red-infiltrated Sarawak United People's Party (SUPP) staged a demonstration that turned into a 90-minute, stone-throwing riot. Only after police fired warning shots to disperse the mob could the UN team sit down - amidst broken glass in a Methodist schoolhouse - to interview local councilors. In Miri, Sarawak's oil-refining centre, 3,000 Chinese-SUPPorted youths, wielding stones and bottles, screamed anti-Malaysia slogans until the police opened fire, wounding two, and tear gas forced them to scatter.Such outbursts will slightly delay but not derail the formation of Malaysia, originally scheduled for Aug 31. In last summer's general elections, voters in both Sarawak and North Borneo decisively defeated anti-federation parties. Although Indonesia's shadow looms large, the Borneo people know they have nothing to gain from Djakarta but economic chaos and demagoguery.

Malayan Prime Minister Tunku Abdul Rahman and British Colonial Secretary Duncan Sandys, who hastily flew to the scene, last week set Sept 16 as the new birth date for the federation - two days after the UN mission's findings will be made public. Both are sure that the UN will find a clear majority in favour of Malaysia, but they insist that the federation will come into being regardless of the report. The British last week also turned over internal self-government to Borneo and Sarawak.In a wrangle over details with the British, Indonesia failed to send observers to the UN mission, thus giving Sukarno an excuse to question the UN findings later. But faced with British determination to defend Malaysia by force, if necessary, Sukarno said: "If the Borneo peoples agree to join Malaysia, we will have to bow our heads and obey." But, added Sukarno, in an unbowed postscript: "Indonesia maintains its opposition to Malaysia."

An Indonesian guerrilla campaign against Borneo and Sarawak may well continue, since Djakarta always needs a foreign diversion to draw attention from domestic difficulties. In Indonesian Borneo, which adjoins Sarawak, Sukarno has set up guerrilla camps along 200 miles of border, and is training 1,000 Red-lining Chinese from Sarawak, following the guidelines of Indonesian Defense Minister General Abdul Haris Nasution, an expert on guerrilla warfare who has written his own book on the subject. Bands of his guerrillas pushed across the border to raid Dyak villages, clashed with patrols of British-led Gurkhas and Sarawak police. In a fire fight ten miles inside Sarawak, the Indonesians killed a British lieutenant and wounded several Gurkhas before being routed with heavy losses. Meanwhile, British officers are studying Nasution's book for clues to stop further Indonesian incursions.

So far, Indonesian terrorist attacks have only served to create a surge of pro-Malaysia feeling in Borneo and Sarawak. Almost nightly, the Indonesian embassy in North Borneo is plastered with slogans reading "Tunku Yes, Sukarno No." Although his people stopped head-hunting years ago, one Dyak chief told the UN fact finders that "if any more Indonesian bandits come into our territory, they may lose their heads." - TIME

I Salute you

You must be one of the few politicians that I really respect, Datuk Zaid Ibrahim. For what you have did, I salute you....

Malaysia Insider
KUALA LUMPUR, Sept 15 - Datuk Zaid Ibrahim, the de facto Law Minister, has tendered his resignation to the Prime Minister, a day after criticising the use of the Internal Security Act (ISA) to arrest three individuals last Friday.