It all starts without warning, a loved one or trusted authority thrusts a sharp dagger slicing deep into the child's innocent heart shattering its safe world of love with betrayal. A reflex pulls the heart away as the first painful emotion brings a fear of death and insecurity. Stunned in disbelief the child's mind scrambles to make sense of the puncture the heart has just sustained. Confused and unable to comprehend the assault, the child accepts full responsibility. Year after year the pattern continues, as trust becomes a distant memory.
Deep within solitude and far from discovery the mirror of the buried heart reflects failure and loneliness. The mind caught off guard responds with a legion of proof the inner voice is a lie. As time passes and silent to all others, the heart's once small whisper increases to a scream the mind can not suppress. Plunging into a darkness of conviction and despair a knowing of the failure permeates the body. Shocked by the inner betrayal, a rage is created that will not relent. Over and over you seek for the one to blame, but none can be found. Through desperate fear the mind has the solution. You are the one to blame.
The now silent heart slowly dies unaware of its gradual fate as despair trickles into the cold voids where the dream once lived. Day after day the darkness kills thoughts before they transform into action bringing a paralysis to life. Moving deeper and deeper into hopelessness, the childhood dream no longer exists. Replaced with a cold hatred that the song of lies was ever heard.
Death is the only escape and love is a lie.
2 weeks ago
1 comment:
This comment is from a real person, not a spamming bot, or otherwise. I accidentally ended up on your blog, and am immediately concerned for your welfare.
I've seen this type of writing before; my own, at a time in my life when I felt despair, and loneliness, and truly believed that somehow death would be the only way to end such pain and suffering.
But I am here to tell you, that is NOT TRUE!
There are many beautiful, happy, wonderful things in this world, and those things can be a part of your life, you just have to look for them, accept them, and believe that you deserve to be happy. You have to know that you CAN be happy, no matter the pain you have suffered.
I have suffered as well, but it takes one moment to change all of that. One moment in which you accept, change focus to the positive things, and move on.
You can be happy, you just have to believe that you WILL be happy. Close your eyes. See it. Feel it. It will happen.
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